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jokes entries in 5 pages and you are on page number 1 |
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| Joke by
hair transplant on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 00:33 |
Database entry 39
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| Joke by
Noragha on Monday, February 5, 2007 at 22:23 |
Database entry 38
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lawyers
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law... |
| From: Afghanistan |
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| Joke by
Nasir H on Saturday, December 16, 2006 at 15:18 |
Database entry 37
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name of the street
One day Karim Wanted to visit one of his old friends.He started walking towards his friend's house.All of a sudden he was confused and did not know what to do.He was lost. He called his friend to get some directions.His friend asked Karim if he could tell his friend where he was. Karim said where I am standing the name of the street is WALK. His friend said what ? Karim said dont worry now it is don't walk. His friend said Karim jaan this the traffic light not the name of the street. |
| From: United States |
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| Joke by
Ramin on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 at 22:11 |
Database entry 36
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cocacola adds
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..." |
| From: Afghanistan |
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| Joke by
elaha on Sunday, August 6, 2006 at 06:06 |
Database entry 35
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only place but no palaw rice
Once Nasruddin took his students to his house and insisted they should have lunch with him. Moment later, he called his wife and ordered her to cook Palaw for the guests as soon as possible. His wife said, "You order so simply as if you have rice and ghee in the house." Nasruddin became very angry and said: "Can’t you at least bring empty plates? His wife accepted and a few minutes later brought the plates to Nasruddin. He took the empty plates and placed them in front of the guests. "Friends!" he said, "If I had bought rice and ghee, I would have brought you an oily Palaw in these plates."
dfd
 i hope you like it |
| From: Netherlands |
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| Joke by
H.Hamdard on Sunday, July 16, 2006 at 10:54 |
Database entry 34
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chief&secretary
Mr. Black is a Chief of a company.He is far away from his family and writing letter to her only and lovely daughter.
Q: What are you doing Mr. Black?
A: I am writing a letter to my daughter.
Q: why are you writing slowly?
A: Because she can't read fastly.
Smile dega PlZ |
| From: Norway |
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| Joke by
Nasir H on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 at 00:18 |
Database entry 33
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I just got here
One day someone was thrown from a high rise building and hit the ground.People came there to help that injured man.They asked him what is going on here or what is happening? The man answered I do not know either I just got here. |
| From: United States |
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| Joke by
Nasir H on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 at 00:10 |
Database entry 32
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anter-manter
One day two friends were passing by the big hotel (Inter Continental) One friend asked the other one. Do you know the name of this hotel? His friend said dont worry about it .It is very hard to peonounce.His friend still insisted to know ,he said the name of the hotel is Anter-Manter. |
| From: United States |
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